Stepping Back Into the Light

A New Creative Journey

After five years of quiet mornings, school drop-offs, and creative exploration in the privacy of my home, I'm stepping back into the professional world but not quite the same one I left behind.

For those who've been with me since the beginning, you knew me as a photographer. For twenty years, my calendar overflowed with meetings and photoshoots. I moved through the world with my camera (and my iPhone) in hand, always documenting the perfect moments.

Then health issues and the pandemic hit, and everything stopped.

At first, the stillness was frightening. My ego struggled so much with this new reality. Each morning I'd wake up with the anxious thought: "You are not making money. Homeworking with your kid? Cooking three meals a day? That's not you. If you don’t get busy, no one will hire you again!"

But something beautiful happened in that unexpected full-stop, something I couldn't have anticipated. In the absence of external validation and constant productivity, I found space to explore parts of myself that had been neglected for a long time.

The Gift of Emptiness

What appeared as emptiness was actually fullness of a different kind. Without my calendar taking over my days, I had time to read, to absorb new ideas, to question old patterns. I picked up paintbrushes. I filled sketchbooks. I learned what it meant to be present with my family not from a place of obligation, but from a place of purpose.

"The purpose of our lives changes according to where we are at the moment," I wrote in my journal during this time. At that moment, my purpose was not a hustling business owner, but a caretaker of my family and an explorer of my inner creativity.

I began to understand that even the simplest things like making toast for my child or washing dishes without a scattered mind can carry ripples of meaning far from what I could see.

A New Direction

Now, five years later, I'm ready to return to work but with a transformed vision of what my work can be.

I'm excited to shift my focus from traditional photography to writing and creating AI-integrated art. It’s been really exciting and fun to blend my own drawings, paintings, and photographs with emerging AI tools to create pieces that combine my technical skills with the deeper creative intuition I've reconnected with during these years at home.

My time away has given me clarity about who I am beyond the roles I've played and the validation I've sought. As I wrote during my reflection: "You do not need validation from anyone. Nothing anyone says to you can harm you. You are enough."

created by blending my drawings and photos together with the help of AI

The Path Forward

This space will become a journal of sorts, a place where art and words intertwine, where traditional techniques meet new technologies, where inner reflections find outward expression. I imagine sharing the light and shadows of this journey, knowing that creativity is never a straight line but a winding road of discovery.

In many ways, this new chapter feels like coming full circle. The eye that once captured moments through a lens is now looking to create them through different mediums. The hands that used to adjust the camera settings now move between keyboard, paintbrush, and digital tools with just as much curiosity.

Why Now?

Someone recently asked me how I knew it was time to return. The truth is, I didn't know until suddenly I did. It’s like that inner creativity felt right to flow outward again.

This time around, I show up to the world not as someone desperate to prove her worth, but as someone eager to share what she's discovered in the quiet spaces between who she was and who she's becoming.

I hope you'll (continue to) join me on this journey.

Warmly, Bonnie

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