I’ve seen spirits since I was little. By high school I was not in tuned with myself, the focus was on friendships, boyfriends, my mom, then husbands, kids, career, money…
In 2019, I was not doing well healthwise. I could barely work or take care of my family. Not being busy forced me to sit with my own thoughts and turned the attention back to my inner self. A day before the pandemic lockdown, my family and I moved away from everyone. It was a good chance to cut off toxic relationships. I even stopped texting friends and not allowed myself to complain or whine. It was like all those years of spilling my energy out and now I’m collecting them back. Meanwhile, I had a hysterectomy. Again, forced me to sit still in recovery.
I think a lot. To not think I’d keep myself busy. So maybe the only way to stop me is to stop my body from moving. The last time something so drastic happened was ten years ago. It was a terrible car accident, I didn’t have insurance, so I laid in bed for three months to heal on my own. But that was the time I reconnected with God and was able to meditate for a long time and had profound visions.
After the recovery of hysterectomy, I was not getting anymore jobs. With not much to do my focus shifted to James (husband), our two daughters, and me. Other than two to three friends that were (still are) on similar spiritual path that I met up with once every few months, I didn’t see or talk to anyone. During this time, a friend introduced me to an energy healer, which I had two sessions with. The first session she opened me up so much!
In the past ten years, after that terrible car accident, whenever I went into a deep, deep meditated state I would see myself sitting in a sailboat floating in the middle of a lake. Everywhere was pink - pink sky, pink clouds, pink water. Just a beautiful calm feeling of peace. Jesus would sit in the sailboat with me giving me guidance. Now, others might have their own meaning of Jesus, but to me he’s like a big brother I never have and there’s no religious attachment. But during the first session with the energy healer, I was at the lake again, but this time I was led to get off the boat and walked toward the clouds. As we walked, the fog parted and there was a tall, tall, tall gold buiding. We walked inside. In the center of the building was a tall bookshelf with books piled up to the ceiling. He said to me, “You’ll be here to study for awhile.” Staring at the amount of books, I knew that meant there’ll be many challenges and lessons ahead.
The challenges came soon enough, all required me to set boundaries and to speak up. For someone who is so used to carving herself out to make room for others, standing up for herself is nervewrecking. Sending a text saying, “I don’t drive out anymore, but you can come visit” would had me sweat and wanted to vomit. But I practiced everyday.
The more clearing what didn’t work for my higher purpose and honoring myself, the more I could sense spirits’ energy. By now, at least one a day would either just to visit or to have me deliver message to a loved one. And knowing my self worth and to set boundary is so important because in the middle of the night when a spirit shows up I can confidently say, “Come back in the morning, I need to sleep now.”
There was one time I was feeling so cold when I was trying to fall asleep. I put on extra blankets, a sweater and socks, but I was still shivering! In the middle of the night, a boy was giggling right by my left ear. Ah… Now I know why I was so cold. I said strongly to him, “That is so disrespectful. I need to sleep, so I’m not tired in the morning.” Within split second I was not cold anymore and had to take off the blankets and sweater. Back in the days, I would be so scared.
Sometimes I can smell or taste things. One time I was tasting and craving pudding all day. Strange, I don’t eat pudding. By evening I was getting a strange feeling about one of my youngest daughter’s classmates, so the next day I texted her grandparents whom I had hung out with few times and asked how were they doing. The grandma replied that her husband had just passed away. I instantly realized the taste of pudding came from him because he loved sweets! I laid down on the sofa to process the news. As I was thinking, he suddenly appeared next to me. I was startled for a second, but immediately closed my eyes and asked him, “What can I do for you?” He showed me a scene in my mind’s eyes that I was visiting and eating lunch with his wife. Ah, ok, he just wanted me to spend time with her, and so I did.
It’s been really interesting where life takes me. I was so sure to be one thing, but the path is leading me some place else. I am just trusting and following my bliss. If you have any similar experiences to share or books, youtube channels, teachers… please share. I am eager to learn more.
Sending you love.
I loved reading this so much. We are never alone and that there’s always an invisible force guiding us whether we let it or not. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I loved reading about your spiritual experiences. Thank you so much for sharing!